Monday, May 07, 2007

The Simple Life Goes To Jail

As you know, unless you've been living under a rock, Paris Hilton has earned a 45-day jail sentence for driving under the influence on a suspended license. After her trial she claimed, "I told the truth. I feel that I was treated unfairly." Paris says the jail time is "both cruel and unwarranted.. I don't deserve this."

Her sentence begins June 5th in the same LA jail Michelle Rodriquez was incarcerated at (but was released in a few hours due to overcrowding). I've been waiting for this day for months. Nicole Richie may also face jail time for driving the wrong way on an LA freeway after smoking marijuana and popping valium. The Simple Life Goes To Jail would be amazing! Teaching fellow jailbirds to sing, showing them how not to eat, tips on how to show the most cleavage with jail jumpsuits.

Here is what Paris will deal with in jail:

While this isanity ensues, what is going on
with the new season of The Simple Life?

-She will only be allowed one five-minute shower a day

- Two pairs of socks and panties

- Part of her day will be spent washing her underwear in the shower since the detention center contains no laundry facilities

- Her breakfast will be a boiled egg (not bad, it's basically what Nicole Richie eats in a day)

- Lunch is typically a bologna sandwich

- Paris's visitors will be received through a glass partition

- Her contact with the outside world will be via pay phone (no texting! the horror)

- She is not allowed makeup, highlights or hair extensions (I can't wait to see the pictures of her in jail)

Things are going to get a bit racy on the new season of The Simple Life. The show will feature actress Sally Kirkland playing the socialites' Camp Shawnee acting coach.

Sources tell TMZ it was Nicole who somehow talked Kirkland into donning the controversial getup after the two got into a shouting match when Nicole wouldn't perform Shakespeare. Sources say the taping was simultaneously "frightening and hysterically funny." Much like Paris Hilton's appearance in the morning after a night at Hyde.

The Simple Life Goes to Camp premieres May 28 on E!

Yours Truly, Tim


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Anonymous said...
for the 'DON'T FREE PARIS' tee!

Anonymous said...

ahhh Paris is burning!!!!! and thats hot!

ISPCA said...

she wears fur coat.

she deserves go to jail