BEYONCE. Where are your armpits??? And why is your dress such a HIDEOUS color?! It washes her out, and emphasizes her mousy hair color. Let me bring you all back, to a time not so long ago
DIVA AND DON'T YOU EVER FORGET IT B. You have a duty! None of this demure nonsense! Reign long, and with terror. WORK!
Oh. Hey...It's Ciara. Sorry, I mistook you for a FAT SWAN. A Baby Doll dress? REALLY? Look, the only people who can ever pull this look off are those under 90 lbs. coughMARYKATEcough. It's not even like Ciara is fat at all, she has a really good body! She would have looked better in one of those tight hoochie dresses she's always so keen on wearing.
I don't even want to say anything too nasty about DUFFY. I'm much too afraid she'll attack me in my sleep with that SHARP, NASTY, GROTESQUE KNEE! GO TO TACOBELL SKELETOR!
HOO BOY. This is just too easy. NEEEEEXT!
Ok. That was mean. To anyone who still has partial eyesight, look, here's Justin Timberlake.
Scarjo. Why the hell were you at the Grammys? Whatever, at least you looked hot. Hotter than anyone who was actually there for a legitimate reason! They all must hate you, thunder stealer!
Pink, you still look like a man but a FIERCE man. Somewhere (probably at a McDonalds) Tyra Banks is smiling down on you.
ANNA NICOLE LIVES! Wow. HOgan is really channelling her inner Hulk in this one. It looks as though she's about to pop herself right out of her Junior Prom dress!